Reconcile – Inside The Music

‎’Reconcile’ – from the album “Jade” (Sony Music Canada, Words&Music by Corey Hart Produced by Corey Hart. Mixed by Humberto Gatica, May 1998 Nassau, The Bahamas.)

This song encompasses many colours of the emotional palette. Some bright, others darkly muted, conflicted. A coming of age ode written for my father.
Did he ever hear the song. No. Did he ever empathize. Probably not. Would he really care anyways…?. I will never know.

He died in 2003 a few weeks shy of his 83rd birthday alone in his bedroom as he wished it to be.

I never played him the song because by the time I had written ´Reconcile´ I was no longer seeking the idealistic dreams of my lost youth in quest of a father’s approbation. it was too late.
I never hated because this emotion is toxic. I simply never understood how his own child did not carry enough importance for him to even play a marginal focus of his life.
How could it be that I mattered so little to him. Never a goodnight kiss, nor talks along the roadside, nor sharing defeats or triumphs. Never once did I hear the three words I yearned the most. ‘ I love you’.

‘ along the beach i never collected shells from my father’s shore’
‘when i was 22 years old i thought i owned what made me sad but you can’t trade silver or buy with gold for the times you never had’

´truth is it’s just too late to really make a start’ ‘ ‘ it’s all about the choices you make I will never, I will never understand’.

We are all not destined to become parents. It is not innately built into our DNA’s. I have many close friends who chose not to have children because they responsibly acknowledged the sacrifices involved recognizing it simply wasn’t cut out for them.

emancipation, freedom, acceptance, forgiveness, ‘ reconcile’ All easier said than done I learned. I am not bitter. In a strange twist of fate my father may have given me the sweetest lesson of my life. Dedicate yourself to the children. Be there for them when patience is worn thin. Listen to them when you can´t find enough space in your own brain to hear your thoughts anymore. He taught me not to be like him.

I am the youngest of the 5 Hart siblings. My father’s name was Bert. My mother’s Mina. I rarely saw him as my parents marriage dissolved when I was a young boy.

I bumped about the world from the age of 5 to 12 traveling Spain, Mexico, Florida,Montreal, and despite caravan crisscrossing the globe, the one constant dynamic remained my father was invisible. Never a physical presence except for fleeting scattered memories.

Why did I need to ´Reconcile´this hurt. Why did I write the song.- well It made me feel better. Music always makes me feel better. So this song is my healing.

I am sure my father cared in his misguided manner which he believed was righteous by providing materially for our family. He would sometimes rub my hand with his palm telling me it would bring me good luck. I thank him for the good luck. I have been blessed with so much.

But reconciling is a hard rationale. Logic often defies emotions. Pain cannot be dissected like a mathematical equation which equals to = zero.

This inside the music is perhaps delving deeper into my personal history than you all bargained for. But I trust you with these thoughts. We all have our own crosses to bear.

The guitar playing on this track is exquisite. All performed by Michael Thompson. A genuine impressionistic artist of the highest caliber. Thanks Michael for gracing this song.

One last comment on ´Reconcile´ which actually transcends the music. It is not simple or easy to make peace. History has proven to us time and again that compromise & goodwill towards one other is not majority rule but an ever elusive pursuit. I am not lecturing. We are all on the same playing field.

I usually sign off my FB posts with´peace´or ´one love´ because despite all the intricate details that make us all complex individuals, we all share common humanity.
Please let´s keep the CH FB wall a home for freedom of expression in all it’s colours,shapes and forms. Let’s take the high road. We may not consistently see eye to eye but mutual respect renders petty differences or jealousies to the barren hinterlands where they rightfully belong.

one love. smile.

corey hart
happy new year 2012

21 Responses to “Reconcile – Inside The Music”
  1. DAVID ELLISON
    01.18.2012

    WOW —
    VERY EMOTIONAL
    APPEARS NOT TOO DIFFERNT FROM MY OWN LIFE AND RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FATHER. I TRY NOT TO LIVE AS HE DID, I AM A 38 YEAR OLD MALE, WHO HAS MET HIS FATHER 1 TIME, ABOUT 5 YEARS AGO. SAD. I TOO WONDER HOW SOMEONE CAN GO SO LONG WITHOUT WONDERING ABOUT THEUR CHILD? CONFUSES ME.
    I HAVE 3 BOYS, AND TELL THEM I LOVE THEM EVERYDAY, (AS I HAVE NEVER HEARD A MALE SAY TO ME, AGAIN, SAD) I TELL MY BOYS, “DADDY WILL KEEP YOU SAFE, ALWAYS”
    COREY, THIS IS A DEAPLY EMOTIONAL TOPIC FOR ME, THANX FOR SHARING YOUR STORY!
    I ALMOST CRIED AS I READ (SITTING AT WORK, SOO, LOL)
    OLD FAN – DAVE

    • Kimmers007
      08.11.2012

      Dave your Dad does love you. And Corey I completely get the whole “dad thing”… as a female—(which you know from having girls)- the Daddy is the most PROMinent figure in a young girl/woman’s life. Love your work Corey. It reaches your “fans” who love you from day One. You are an awesome force- Keep up the amazing work- reaching people through your music <3

  2. marc pepin
    01.19.2012

    It’s nice not to be alone!

    I guess our dad’s generation was just like Corey dad and mind too, I am 53 and just like you Corey I live here in Nassau since 12 years now, left Quebec pour voir ce que le reste du monde a l’aire, pour reprendre les paroles du grand Charlebois. My dad left us me my mom and my 2 sister and brother at a very young age, and never heard the word LOVE from him, then 10 years later I was 18 I met him, he was like a stranger walking in the dark for me, and my sister and brother never see him since he left home for the first time, am the only one who keep contact, I did not want to be mad at him, like you said forgiveness and acceptance is the only thing we can do and is sometime tremendous for us to give, for love it’s another thing, we can only give what we have for someone, but like always respect is a very good form of love and this is what I have for him, after all he conceive me so I reconcile with him, he still living at 87 and am planing next time I go in Canada to tell him finally for the first time that I love him whatever he did or not, before he close his eyes!

    Happy new year to all fathers and mothers and let’s be better for ours children’s in 2012 and beyond.

    Marc

  3. fabio santambrogio
    01.29.2012

    Corey, great post.
    Just got around to read it now.
    i’m a 41 Italian GWM in a LTR.
    Never had the best of father/son relationship when i grew up.
    he constantly nagged me for being more of a man, get a wife and family and raise kids.
    funny thing, he is not like an uneducated or illitterated person, i guess he just could not bring himself to accept a son like me.
    Years gone by, his view slightly changed.
    I had the best moment by using your quote to express my views on parenting (twisted it around a bit):
    “We are all not destined to become parents. It is not innately built into our DNA’s. I have chosen not to have children because i responsibly acknowledged the sacrifices involved recognizing it simply wasn’t cut out for me.”.
    No matter if i were straight, i would still not be fathering.
    But this does not stop me to bring love around the people i care for, share the love is what counts.
    thanks

  4. Francesca
    01.29.2012

    Hi Corey. I grew up listening to your music. It was interesting to read about the song you wrote for your father. My late father also inspired a lot of my writing in the form of numerous poems and a novella. I know you’ve been writing songs for other artists like Celine Dion. I wondered if you were still touring or releasing new music. I never had the chance to see you in concert when I was a child. My favorite song of yours has always been Eurasian Eyes because my mother is German and my father’s parents were from India. Everyone always thinks I’m Spanish. A lot of my friends are bi-racial. You always make me proud to be Canadian.

  5. tna
    04.05.2012

    I have read that discomfort and woe bring about creativity as a means to overcome…your children may not be as creative as you because of a more loving home life but they may well be happier and that is good.

    • Andrea
      10.13.2012

      we had the most amazing time durnig this take all day long my dad was mad at me because i bought him and my mom this picture shoot .. he was nervous had no idea what he was getting into . after the shoot we went to dinner and he goes nat that was a lot of fun, not at all what i had expected i cannot wait to see the pictures!!! after that my dad had me checking the website like every hour to see if they were posted!!!!! we are a very close family . my parents being married 30 years this halloween ..and my sister are my bestfriends .. in our pictures you can really see how michael captured the closeness of our family!!!!! we love every picture you took going to be hard to choose!!!!!! thank you for an awesome time!!!!!!

  6. Leanne
    07.13.2012

    It took me 40 years to have a child for similar reasons. I didn’t want my child to ever feel what I felt. I am so blessed to have my one year old as she is blessed to have me. She will never feel as I felt as she has me.

    • Andrei
      10.27.2012

      i think i’ve decided to name that crazy vault of mine.. So ayonne reading this who knows what i’m talking about leave a comment below mine with a cool name for my vault..and to answer the question.. i think i would do the top 3.. and then schedule a fight between D. Belle and C. Norris!

  7. Kimmers007
    08.11.2012

    Awesome- feelings. I do share them for a Dad… it is so helpful there is an wonderful artist such as YourSelf to put into words what I feel is absent and missing from my life script”"” … :) TY Corey

  8. KristinF
    08.14.2012

    Corey, I so wish I could find this place! My father was never there for me. The hardest part for me was that he remarried and had my two sisters and has been there for them. Every time I think I’ve accepted that it can never be and will no longer hurt me, some new slight occurs and it starts all over. You have given me hope that I can reconcile these feelings someday! :) Kristin

  9. Rosaura Propps
    12.29.2012

    Rae lives in India with her family and and writes about her life there. I always check her feed first. Her photographs and writing make me appreciate the small things around me.

  10. Kelly Wall
    01.30.2013

    Thank you so much for sharing your story behind reconcile. I could not sympathize more with your experience, and again find another one of your songs helping me to feel better about my life. My father too died several years ago, alone, never reaching out to us to reconcile before his death. Though we also has what we needed materially, we lived in fear while my parents were married those 25+ years. I am stronger for what I have endured and will never be like him. Thanks again for your music.

  11. Kelly Wall
    01.30.2013

    Thank you so much for sharing your story behind reconcile. I could not sympathize more with your experience, and again find another one of your songs helping me to feel better about my life. My father too died several years ago, alone, never reaching out to us to reconcile before his death. Though we also had what we needed materially, we lived in fear while my parents were married those 25+ years. I am stronger for what I have endured and will never be like him. Thanks again for your music.

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    05.01.2013

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